A Night-Night Story for the Jolie-Pitt Children

Once upon a time:

Billy Bob and Angie were jumping on a bed

Thought about conceiving but adopted instead

Mama called the orphanage and the orphanage said:

Here's a baby Maddox to jump into your bed!

The three of them were jumping, jumping on the bed

Angie told Billy Bob she's sick of how they're wed

Mama called the lawyer and the lawyer said:

No more Billy Bob jumping on the bed!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith were jumping on the bed

Brad had a whiny wife, but wanted hotter sex instead

Brad called Jenny and Jenny said:

NO don't go! I want you jumping on MY bed!

Brangelina and Maddox were jumping on the bed

It was getting kind of dull so they went to Ethiopia instead

Mama called the orphanage and the orphanage said:

Zahara makes two, now you'll need another bed!

Two little children were jumping on their bed.

Brad and Angie humped like animals on the other bed.

Mama called the midwife and the midwife said:

You're dilated and effaced, I can see a Shiloh's head!

Three babies are too few, mama's lonely in her bed.

Plus they alternate the races--it's time for Asian instead

Mama called Ho Chi Minh and Ho Chi Minh said:

Pax is ready when you want, you'll need another bed.

Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax were jumping on their bed

Then mama fell off and bumped her head

Mama called Brad Pitt and Brad Pitt said:

Let's boink and make some twins and call them both Fred!

And they all lived happily ever after until the next baby. The end.

(Still not sleepy? Yes, I'll bring you a glass of water, and you can also hear another story: A Night-night Fairytale for Suri Cruise. And after that? Lights Out! I mean it!)