Dear Lindsay,
Betch, this has to stop. I just got an Amber Alert telling me that once again, you've been stealing. This time a fur coat? Sicko whack job, I'm begging you to get a pump of anti-bac gel and wash your sticky, filthy, furry little fingers. Because stealing is not a victimless crime. I'm still scared of you after what you did to me, and my kids sometimes wake up at night screaming random stuff like "my left foot. It's so COLD." It breaks my heart. They are resilient, but still, it's wrong, Lindsay, just flat ass wrong. I know you've been through a lot, but Meryl doesn't pull shit like this, and she survived the freaking Holocaust and a butt-ugly name!
Lindsay, you gave that tart her Peta-bait back, so I want you to make good with me and my children. GIVE ME BACK OUR SOCKS, LINDSAY. They don't even match, Lindsay. You must have piles of them by now, because every week I reach for a favorite pair, and damn you, you already hit one of them! You can afford to buy your own damn socks, Blondie. Give me back our socks, and I won't go to the traditional media. It will stop here, plus Stumble and of course Twitter. Just give me back the socks and we can all move forward with our lives.
Your BFF (I love you even though you are a FREAKy Friday),
Deb Rox
3 comments:
my Gawd. You are truly insane.
Pink puffy hearts.
And tell that biatch that winter is coming here and if I don't get my cute socks back I am sending the ninja.
She needs to either pose for Playboy or move to France and live in seclusion. Those are the only two acceptable options as far as I can see.
LMAO! Funniest thing I've read all day! :D
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