Something Oil, Something Green...

Jenna Bush's wedding was really no biggie. Pretty laid back Texas-style hoedown.

First thing that had to happen was Jenna had to agree to give up women, at least in public. Not a big problem, her mother had before her and so she knew that as a wealthy Texan, that smackdown was coming and she got it out of her system.


Then she had to get used to the sloppy advances of preppy men. That was tougher.


Then the parents had to meet so that the grooms' family jewels could be assessed to see if he would be a suitable family business partner.


Then, the date was set and the dress was purchased.

Wait a minute, that's not her, that's some other overexposed Wedding Day Barbie.

Then her dad had to walk her down the aisle and give her away. Again, no biggie, he's been giving his country, the economy, the truth and other bigger things for years. He really doesn't like responsibility, anyway!


Then she had to throw her thong to the hordes of bridesmaids waiting for a chance to be next to marry up.


Because a Texas-sized wedding is the dream of every humble girl from every humble family--the chance for just one day to be Cinderella with a fantasy party so that your grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, trust fund advisors and leaders of oil companies and oil producing nations can celebrate your hopes for having a more prosperous live ahead than did your scrappy ancestors who toiled so hard before you. Because in America, each generation can and will do better than those who came before. It's the American Dream, and no terrorists will interfere with that!



Can't you just hear the clanking of crystal and the popping of champagne corks? To the Bush family!