Trend Report, Fall 2008

Babies! If we want to stay hot, we need to keep up! Everything is changing right under our noses, and you could lose your hip status in a snap if you don't pay attention right now!

Presidential election years are special times in the United States. We hit a limbo plateau in late August, and popular trends right now are set entirely --consciously and subconsiously --based upon the transitional influences that begin with the conventions and end on Inauguration Day.

For trendwatchers, it's a fascinating time. First, we have a lame duck-to-new king fall wave, then who knows what new year trends that will wholly depend on who is elected. We won't know until November which social and interpersonal forces will be tugging on our nation, our culture, and our psyches for the next half decade. Plus, the end of the summer Olympics means an end of a cycle of Asianphilia. The changes are electric!

BY now you have at least heard the fashion report: brown and all of it's earthy relatives are OUT! All of the fashion forward squawkers are telling us: purple and gray are in. But have they told you why? Well, what is purple but blue + red? Your new purple clothes and their gray supporters will not clash with your party-specific garb, or will represent unity if that's how you float. Purple is Perfect!

So what else is IN right now, and what is OUT, you ask? I'm here to help you, bringing together my unique qualifications as a poli sci grad (putting to use an otherwise useless degree,) queer person (we set the trends, dotcha know darling?) and blogging yellow journalist (that's cultural trend influencer to you, bucko). My finger's on the pulse so your finger can be somewhere else more exciting.

In and Out for Fall 2008

Eye candy soft porn is OUT ---------> The foreplay of brain-on-brain action is IN (imagine Michelle and Barack talking about global economic solutions = hawt!)

China is already way OUT ----------------> Everything Hawaii is so, so IN

Colonic Cleansing is OUT ------>Carb-Loaded Workouts are IN (thank you Michael Phelps, amateur perfect American!)

Cupcakes, mini cupcakes, cupcake towers OUT ------> Pancakes, silver dollar pancakes, pancake towers are IN

Complaining about rising gas prices is OUT -------> Complaining about wait times for electric cars is INCREDIBLY IN

Vegas is OUT ------> Chicago is IN

Yoga is OUT-----> Swimming (duh), even synchronized (and not ironically) is IN

MILFs are way OVER -------> Power Couples are back ON IT, double time!

Sushi and Edamame = BLEH Sumo food---> Homegrown new Victory Garden Potlucks NOM NOM NOM

Meth is OUT --------> Bourbon and a Lucky Strike is IN (swank like Mad Men, plus even Obama smokes)

Red Bull is CRUSHED CAN OLD -------------> Tap water is ON TAP NOW

Zen Buddhism is OUT ------->Southern Baptist is IN (McCain & the Democratic core rock the Rock, Amen Sister)

Grilling is Yesterday -------> Canning the Bounty, Today!

Feedreaders are OUT ------> Pagetime is IN (Click through and Blog the Recession!)

Japanese-style game shows are OUT (no big loss there) ---------> Campfires and Group Singalongs are IN

Baby daddies and having secret babies are OUT ------- >Sugar daddies/mommies and finding surprise streams of money is IN, IN, IN

Ninjas are OUT unless you actually are one--------> Leprechauns are in unless you actually are one (McCain, Biden & the Kennedy's bring the Irish)

Bento Boxes are Embarrassingly OUT ---------> Sandwiches in waxed paper bags and a thermos ALRIGHT

Fetishes = SNOOZE ---------> Morning Sex = HELLO BABY

FYI, Free at no Additional Charge:

Things that will never be out

Frustration with people "who just don't get it"
Bacon

Things that you only thought were in
Crocs
Tevas
Other ugly shoes

Hope this update helps. Tell me if I'm wrong--I DID think John Edwards was going to be VP, so it can happen. And report in with your own trendspotting. It takes a village social network to stay cool. Also: I need a sugar momma, so lemme know.